Just give Atlanta Braves mascot Blooper the Heisman Trophy and be done with it already.

Whoever wins the 2022 Heisman Trophy technically finishes in second behind only Atlanta Braves mascot Blooper.

While his favorite team is polishing off the St. Louis Cardinals like Chip’s grandfather did to tall cool Budweisers in the Wrigley Field booth (Hey!), Blooper is trucking pre-adolescent boys on the Mercedes-Benz Stadium turf like he is Derrick Henry or something. I mean, he did refer to himself as King Bloopy for a reason. Atlanta’s King Henry took the snap from Freddie Falcon to pay dirt!

Unlike Eric Crouch, Blooper actually earned his Heisman. Here he is getting Sexy Rexy for six, y’all.

Let’s be real. The Scott Frost era is the karmic resolution for Crouch winning the Heisman Trophy.

Atlanta Braves: Blooper has claimed the August Heisman above everyone else

When I wrote that Blooper needs to try out for the Atlanta Falcons and play some linebacker, I wasn’t kidding. I mean, Atlanta’s favorite space monster of sorts laid out ole 2-Bit like he was Jessie “The Hammer” Tuggle wreaking havoc over the old NFC West back in the day. While the video cut away too soon, we can only imagine Blooper doing The Dirty Bird like Jamal Anderson.

Let’s be real. We haven’t seen a two-sport athlete as dynamic in The ATL since Coach Prime stole bases for the Braves and high-stepped into the end zone for the 1991 Falcons, who were California State Champions and 2 Legit 2 Quit. You also have to remember that Brian Jordan was a Pro Bowler on that defense too, and he went on to be even better on the diamond in Atlanta.

Ultimately, you are never going to find a mascot be as unapologetically ATL than Ole Bloopy. It is about being loud, proud and borderline obnoxious all the time. If lemon pepper wings are the official food of the Empire State of the South, then Blooper is the unofficial swag mascot of the capital city of the greatest state on Planet Earth. Look for Blooper to do a Nissan spot with King Henry.

If somebody ever told you to play nice, then that person was either a loser or wasn’t ’bout that!

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